On the Eve of Commissioning

This post comes from Nancy R. Smith, a retired deacon and now pastor of Bridgton UMC in Bridgton, Maine. 

On the Eve of Commissioning as a Permanent Deacon

Consider the pot and the potter:

On this day before commissioning
this day of enjoying friends and marking time
and observing the community in which I have become a novice
Why can’t I be still
and allow the forming
and trust the process
And let God create the opening into my inner being?

Because making a pot or vessel involves
punching and pulling
and slapping and throwing –
Long before the shaping of the inner beauty.

And sometimes the potter must scoop up
all the waste and brokenness
and pound it into a big heap
And begin again.

And so, on the eve of commissioning
I sit in awe of the process thus far
And tremble in wonder at the formation yet to come.

What are you making of me, O God?
Why did you select this process for me?
For surely your call is not so much to do, or even to serve,
As to be – or rather, to become.

--© Nancy R. Smith June 8, 2001